My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other -- so now it's just a waiting game.

Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier.

Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

May your joys be as deep as the Ocean, and your troubles as light as its foam.

May you grow so rich your widow's second husband never has to worry about a living.

May you grow old on one pillow.

May we never forget what is worth remembering or remember what is best forgotten.

May the joys you share today, be the beginning of a lifetime of great happiness and fulfilment

May the best of your past be the worst of your future

May the best of your past be the worst of your future

May our children be blessed with rich parents

Married life has many Ups and Downs...May most of yours be between the sheets!